Son day August 16th was the slated day for having Twins!! Yet it did not go as planned.
Our twins original due date was August 16th, 2018. However, these boys were so excited to meet us that they came early, July 8th!! So, there we were talking in the hospital that each of us have a Father’s and Mother’s Day. As you create your own family and establish new traditions, expectations, standards, and what not, you get to be creative. We concluded that this would be the day we celebrate them just a bit extra because of the love we have for them and the complete blessing they are to our lives. To you twin boys, you were smart enough to come early and get this plus birthday
Normally this is reserved for fun reflections that relish opportunities and chances in everyday life. With that comes honesty. At times it seems that we forget NO ONE PERSON is PERFECT. I am not, my wife is not, my kids are not, and no team I have coached has been perfect. And that is OK! It is not ok to do the minimum amount or treat others with less than your best. But no one person or parent is perfect, Sans JESUS CHRIST. That should be your aim, not me or your mom.
As a result, Fatherhood comes with its fair shares of worries. New dads worry about the health and wellbeing of their family. For me it contains about one zillion micro-worries. It makes sense: Jesus decided to create life, and now I need to raise, protect (biggest scare), and care for them. Honestly, I Love Pressure! It helps me perform, have purpose, and excel. Nonetheless, there is nothing I have faced greater compared to internal monologues.
Therefore, many questions arise before your arrival. Will I be able to do it? Am I enough? Can I be a good dad? What If I Mess Up?
Not only mothers worry. Let us be honest, the common thinking is dad is funny while mom worries. Yet, is that true? Again, we are writing this learning, finding, revealing, and understanding. Clearly, self-doubting happens, it happens when you do not feel confident about something you've never done before. There is no manual that comes with fatherhood like a new car. Thus, don’t expect to be an expert from the start. Adopting the mindset that “I’m learning how to do this, and I’ll improve over time” helps in situations when you do doubt.
Kick self-doubt in the nuts!
This is a big one. Self-doubt happens, every athlete has it. I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed repeatedly in my life and that is why I succeed.
It often bubbles away underneath, and fuels fears you should face earlier. In all the chaos and self-doubt, remember that connecting with JESUS your creator comes first. After that remember the family, principals, advice, standards, examples, and mentors that love you. The money you have in the bank or what your job possesses do not make-up for any doubt that creeps in. It’s a cliché but remember there is no such thing as the perfect person or parent.
That My Kid Will Get Injured Doing Something Stupid Like Me. It does scare me, from middle school to the military I am grateful to be here.
Guess you could call me an athlete, and a bit of adrenaline fan. By the time I was the twins age, I had a concussion and scars to show now. I never saw it from my parents’ point of view. And now, I’m a parent. The thought of my child getting injured freaks me out beyond belief. What if they play football or rock climb and end up paralyzed? It could happen. I think part of my anxiety is natural and expected, but a lot of it comes from the fact that, looking back, I put my mom through the ringer with sports and zero fear.
What will society look like?
At first it was climate change. Seriously. By the time they reach our age, who knows what the world will be like? You always hear the old, ‘I’d never want to bring a kid into this world!’ thing. During, and right after pregnancy, you sort of just laugh it off. YET, the more and more you hear about the state of the planet: nature, race relations, and anything else it makes you worry. Isaiah 54:17 “No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment. You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me, Says the Lord.”
Lastly, Being Better Than your own Dad?
Raise your hand if you have ever heard of a single mom? I am no different verses others and might be better off compared to the situation. Even so it creates a “non-perfect” mentality. no matter if your dad was wonderful or not I think most men on the eve of fatherhood themselves really think long and hard about how they want to do just a little bit better than their dad did, even if it was amazing. Not in a contest kind of way either. It's the simple drive to evolve, to push good things a little further down the line. I know that's true for me. I want to be the best dad I imagine. So, I look at the Bible, remember my mentors, and even fight the mishaps I have had so far. To be truthful I never really saw myself living long. Could it be the military or crazy streak? In that view it means that whatever time I have with my twins I hope they see the focused time that is made just for them. The point isn't to judge our fathers in retrospect, it's to take our experiences and create an even better life.
Even though I would rather have 15,000 fans looking at me verse being a dad. I do anything in life, embrace it, get creative, and honesty have standards higher than normal. My wife is a strong, beautiful, and humble human being who makes me better. It is the sole reason I have walked away from lucrative contracts that I wish my twins know that you do not make a job, money, or status idols. It is the exact reason I find myself speaking truth. NO ONE IS PERFECT. Admit your flaws, learn from good and bad leaders, and attack the world with no fear. Even if I am not hear, trust the LORD, know a village loves you, and don’t worry about other people’s opinions.
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